About You

Shhhh, Touch

stock dialogue, chancing automatic
birth beyond boundaries, feeling dogmatic
body bouncing, limbs are roaming random
get low to the flow, shaking in tandem
peaceful minds, have a power silhouette
subterfuge sadness, a need to forget
quivering hearts flow, rewards come to life
On time, movements fade, juggling so much strife
hemlock ruins, ancient lives shake and sway
precision unrest, gaping at the brave
cohesion is lost, blurring memories
once threats dissolve unhinge the centuries
curls in place thick dreads stagnant and quite firm
reading calmly, sun beams burn up like worms
  • stock dialogue, chancing automatic
  • birth beyond boundaries, feeling dogmatic
  • body bouncing, limbs are roaming random
  • get low to the flow, shaking in tandem
  • peaceful minds, have a power silhouette
  • subterfuge sadness, a need to forget
  • quivering hearts flow, rewards come to life
  • On time, movements fade, juggling so much strife
  • hemlock ruins, ancient lives shake and sway
  • precision unrest, gaping at the brave
  • cohesion is lost, blurring memories
  • once threats dissolve unhinge the centuries
  • curls in place thick dreads stagnant and quite firm
  • reading calmly, sun beams burn up like worms

Today’s Journal Entry

moments like today, you feel at peace. The withdrawals are gone. You don’t feel anger, that phase has passed, but the distance feels like clairvoyance. There’s certainly a ton of emotion below the surface and even the thought of her at time turns my sex drive out of control. The overall feeling of, how could you purposefully put me through all this pain just so that you can get some enjoyment, some experience, some love from another human while taking me out of the equation completely is one of disenfranchised sadness and neglect. The context is different this time around. There wasn’t any thought of how it may affect. I would just be able to handle it and maybe when you’re bored or unhappy with your current piece of cake I’ll be around to pick up the pieces. A new man, a better stronger more fulfilling person than you knew before and everything you decided to do will have been in the right. No harm done. 

Maybe, maybe not. I’ve never felt so depressed in my life. I’ve felt so lowly it’s almost hard to gauge it. And it felt like an attack. No it just felt caused by you. It’s left me with an animosity not in anger, but of fear and distrust. Inside I can sense it. I still want you, but my brain is telling me different. That I would never choose to put someone through what I’ve been through so how could I be with someone who could. When consideration has always been something championed it seems to have been thrown to the wayside, but not by myself. I guess that’s the quintessence of letting go. The emotions there, but without the commitment, intimacy, and joint visions it begins to fall into distrust, resignment, and animosity. 

I cherish what we’ve developed in terms of self-reflection, critical self-reflection, and self-revelation to each other. I’m disappointed she doesn’t feel it’s worth fighting for or really doesn’t trust me to overcome my own vices. My own critical points. I’ll let time does what it does best though.

cerulean daze genius so common
such tension adept guiding my caution
bradford based wood, the grain so sleek and black
madness endeavors, corrupt spreading cracks
derelict space, debris tempting anew
matching my minds eye with so many hues
carbon caste ghosts, reflections intrepid
bought sold wasted, such gifts I’m indebted
insomniac, a price so bold it’s free
or rather one pays but not with money
rewards flow, slow binding wraiths to my sight
fruit finish in fashion, marriage so trite
spineless renewal, a guest nevermore
severe discomfort, a child a whore
  • cerulean daze genius so common
  • such tension adept guiding my caution
  • bradford based wood, the grain so sleek and black
  • madness endeavors, corrupt spreading cracks
  • derelict space, debris tempting anew
  • matching my minds eye with so many hues
  • carbon caste ghosts, reflections intrepid
  • bought sold wasted, such gifts I’m indebted
  • insomniac, a price so bold it’s free
  • or rather one pays but not with money
  • rewards flow, slow binding wraiths to my sight
  • fruit finish in fashion, marriage so trite
  • spineless renewal, a guest nevermore
  • severe discomfort, a child a whore
Sapphire song sipping long on cold eyes
mirrors wrinkle the mind clumsy but wise
fine poise selfish there’s finesse dripping lies
left for life in your hands, tears drown your cries
deaf withdrawals make me shudder still alive
serenade untimely, forfeit deprive
slow chords play behind, tuned silken like glass
soft satin to hear like love with no mask
sacred shimmer of soul, truth eclipse
simple yet uncouth, blind bait of your lips
eager for silence these threatening howls
summon delusions of wicked angry growls
thirsty shark eyes, black spectrum to behold
deep depths conception this lucid threshold
  • Sapphire song sipping long on cold eyes
  • mirrors wrinkle the mind clumsy but wise
  • fine poise selfish there’s finesse dripping lies
  • left for life in your hands, tears drown your cries
  • deaf withdrawals make me shudder still alive
  • serenade untimely, forfeit deprive
  • slow chords play behind, tuned silken like glass
  • soft satin to hear like love with no mask
  • sacred shimmer of soul, truth eclipse
  • simple yet uncouth, blind bait of your lips
  • eager for silence these threatening howls
  • summon delusions of wicked angry growls
  • thirsty shark eyes, black spectrum to behold
  • deep depths conception this lucid threshold
Stolen goodbyes torn loose and justified
shouldered weight adieu rising suicide
measure of color stripes only remind
desert nether quaking deep our divide
never to see our sun rise so tender
devotion ardor delight surrender
savory thoughts drain dreams under moonlight
cool breeze on my skin large eyes that excite
bereft forgotten a slave to my hope
dreary unrest rolling over to cope
trust left to rot chosen lives hold such ease
feigning your wishes ignoring my pleas
snipped up no embrace, waking without Nem.
knowing the reason your waking with him.
  • Stolen goodbyes torn loose and justified
  • shouldered weight adieu rising suicide
  • measure of color stripes only remind
  • desert nether quaking deep our divide
  • never to see our sun rise so tender
  • devotion ardor delight surrender
  • savory thoughts drain dreams under moonlight
  • cool breeze on my skin large eyes that excite
  • bereft forgotten a slave to my hope
  • dreary unrest rolling over to cope
  • trust left to rot chosen lives hold such ease
  • feigning your wishes ignoring my pleas
  • snipped up no embrace, waking without Nem.
  • knowing the reason your waking with him.
I’m waiting to hear, but there’s silence
I’m a beauty queen in tears; smiling out of fear.
We used to talk it out, but there’s silence.
Yea

I’m waiting to hear, but there’s silence

I’m a beauty queen in tears; smiling out of fear.

We used to talk it out, but there’s silence.

Yea

Slurring up my words they spill out my throat
boiling trouble speechless, ravens may gloat
choking on thoughts, to savor discomfort
withering bones, dripping skin that’s sunburnt
fire to light and heart oil to burn
masking the pain, pure and hot, that I yearn
a mold for deeds, welded flesh peeling up
little prick to finger, sweet death to touch
somber aware the cells in my chest
are tuned strings that play for purpose possessed
savor the hatred, the embrace of pain
struggle to break free sweet release in vain
despondent bereaved, the state that I live
constant bearable your presence abyss
  • Slurring up my words they spill out my throat
  • boiling trouble speechless, ravens may gloat
  • choking on thoughts, to savor discomfort
  • withering bones, dripping skin that’s sunburnt
  • fire to light and heart oil to burn
  • masking the pain, pure and hot, that I yearn
  • a mold for deeds, welded flesh peeling up
  • little prick to finger, sweet death to touch
  • somber aware the cells in my chest
  • are tuned strings that play for purpose possessed
  • savor the hatred, the embrace of pain
  • struggle to break free sweet release in vain
  • despondent bereaved, the state that I live
  • constant bearable your presence abyss
Green glimmer mistakes, such hues I’ve not seen
fair breeze summer sun wandering like leaves
tasting your curves so tender and mild
touch of your skin, I’m melting defiled
grasping I shudder, breath ripped out my lungs
writhing in lust for your caress, your tongue
eyes closed, I’m patient, your whispers surround
tempting attraction soft bliss I have found
Nestle in close warmth itching to be shared
blind pride desire with all that we dared
white moon drives, blossoms blue in the evening
unfurl at the sight, fervor increasing
sleepless games tire, but never induce
could they? maybe? somehow? by chance? seduce?
  • Green glimmer mistakes, such hues I’ve not seen
  • fair breeze summer sun wandering like leaves
  • tasting your curves so tender and mild
  • touch of your skin, I’m melting defiled
  • grasping I shudder, breath ripped out my lungs
  • writhing in lust for your caress, your tongue
  • eyes closed, I’m patient, your whispers surround
  • tempting attraction soft bliss I have found
  • Nestle in close warmth itching to be shared
  • blind pride desire with all that we dared
  • white moon drives, blossoms blue in the evening
  • unfurl at the sight, fervor increasing
  • sleepless games tire, but never induce
  • could they? maybe? somehow? by chance? seduce?
Hush now my wishes, sweet peace eternal
soft shudders your touch, blind risks nocturnal
swift lies that sooth, melt my skin onto yours
leaking and dripping from all of my pores.
sweet answers to judge, alone to roam free
seconds sweep by as white flashes foresee
hidden stones, leave hints of the winds poem
timeless but not forgiven, I’m loathsome
solo unrest just one star to forget
bored cigarette, we burned twice, with one left
severing tendons that once held passion
ribs sold and broken in sour fashion
bone quivering silence wanton regret
pining youth so tender, I can’t forget.

 
  • Hush now my wishes, sweet peace eternal
  • soft shudders your touch, blind risks nocturnal
  • swift lies that sooth, melt my skin onto yours
  • leaking and dripping from all of my pores.
  • sweet answers to judge, alone to roam free
  • seconds sweep by as white flashes foresee
  • hidden stones, leave hints of the winds poem
  • timeless but not forgiven, I’m loathsome
  • solo unrest just one star to forget
  • bored cigarette, we burned twice, with one left
  • severing tendons that once held passion
  • ribs sold and broken in sour fashion
  • bone quivering silence wanton regret
  • pining youth so tender, I can’t forget.